We were discussing homosexuality because of an allusion to it in the book we were reading, and several boys made comments such as, “That’s disgusting.” We got into the debate and eventually a boy admitted that he was terrified/disgusted when he was once sharing a taxi and the other male passenger made a pass at him. The lightbulb went off. “Oh,” I said. “I get it. See, you are afraid, because for the first time in your life you have found yourself a victim of unwanted sexual advances by someone who has the physical ability to use force against you.” The boy nodded and shuddered visibly.“But,” I continued. “As a woman, you learn to live with that from the time you are fourteen, and it never stops. We live with that fear every day of our lives. Every man walking through the parking garage the same time you are is either just a harmless stranger or a potential rapist. Every time.” The girls in the room nodded, agreeing. The boys seemed genuinely shocked. “So think about that the next time you hit on a girl. Maybe, like you in the taxi, she doesn’t actually want you to.”
“
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Homophobia: The fear that another man will treat you like you treat women. Andrew Sullivan. (via bodyfluids) |
body image bullshit
what people don’t realize is that everyone has their own demons, fears, and just certain things that they downright hate about themselves. people only know what other people tell. other people only know what you tell. you hate yourself because you know more about yourself than any other person. every embarrassing moment or flaw, every friend you’ve ever lost, every fight and argument you’ve ever gotten into, you’re the only person who can recollect it all. you’re the only person who can cram it all together into one ball of frustration and hate, and use it against yourself.
what needs to be done is a self-affirmation. you need to realize that every moment in this world is unique and special. nothing that is happening right now, at this very second, will ever be the same again. no bug will be in the exact same position as before, while your leg is crossed over the other in such a manor and the way your fingers tap the keyboard will change each time you tap. your breathe will change and your blinking rate will vary and your hair won’t fall the exact same way is it did the other day. every moment is far from beautiful, but it sure as shit is unique.
embrace it.
embrace the embarrassing moments and the fights you get into with your parents. embrace the imperfections not only in you but around you, fix them or shrug them off. think about another book shelf in another continent, another country and think about how close it could be to looking the same as yours with just one difference, and how that difference makes a million differences. think of the things you have in common with someone yet the things that vary. think about how many people are smoking a cigarette at the same time you are, but how different each situation would be. how someone could be silent with theirs while you strike up a conversation while someone else strikes up a match and shares with strangers. think of the similarities in conversations while you smoke cigarettes and think of the differences hidden in the similarities that many others would never be able to find. think about how much you think and adore it.
think of the fact that i’m not sober and am probably not making sense.
think about yourself and embrace everything you hate. it’s what you’ve got.
